Brexiters admit that the win last year wasn’t a patch on when they beat X-factor to the Christmas number 1

Recent research out today strongly suggests that the mob of w*nk maggots that waged a relentless and shouty campaign to leave the EU last year have yet to experience the rush of uforia they expected to have while sticking it to the man and p*ssing all over the hopes and dreams of others.

“The sheer elation we all felt down at the golf club when that t*sser on the chart show announced that Rage Against The Machine had beaten that simpering proteger of that f**k-faced, jiz-monger Simon cowell was amazing.” explains Terry Longbotham, a painter decorator from Scunthorpe. “I think we were all searching for something out there which could top that feeling. We all thought “This is the big one. This is the mother of all f**k-overs.” so down at the golf club we started planning our campaign to rally the masses and bring down Eurovision once and for all. It was basically about wiping that smug sh*tting smile off the face of the tw*t next door.”

Many Brexit goons are now left feeling quite deflated. Jeff, a retired and golf obsessed salesman picks up the story. “The difference became immediately clear as the result was announced. Instead of leaping about, beer spilling from pint glasses held high, all of us singing “F**k you, I won’t do what you tell me!”, we found ourselves standing around staring at each other. I think Dave swallowed hard for a moment. I felt a slight rushing in my temples.”

“It’s basically a lesson for life.” says Terry. “I have used it to help explain to my daughter how she and her friends can win at pass-the-parcel.”


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