As they announced profit warnings to investors, the Board of CurrysDixonsCarphoneWarehouse laid out their strategy for turning around the electricals giant – find an additional brand name and add it on quick!
“It’s pretty straight forward” a spokes person for the company said, “if you look at the analysis, our fortunes are directly correlated to the number of brand names we have at any one time. More names equals more profits, QED.”
Jane Cambreen, a shopper on the high street in Derby was asked for her reaction. “I don’t know whether I’m coming or going,” she said, “I tend to get my phone from the kiosk in the middle of the shopping centre mall thingy, not sure why I would go anywhere else – who was it you were asking about again?”
The reaction from Wall St. is divided with some thumping the table declaring victory and others staring at their screens following a green line as it snakes up and down.
Early speculation from journalists and investors alike favour Toys R Us, Woolworths, and Virgin Mega Stores as the front runners in the race to become the next brand adornment.