Bank of England wins diversity award after adopting BGT selection process

“We’ve done it again!” said one of the panelists after the selection was finalised, “it’s an amazing privilege to work for such an openly diverse team, one which is only enhanced by this latest innovation, the BGT showdown.”

Inspired by the best selection approach in the world, the contestants are ushered onto a theatre stage one at a time. Each gets asked a few small talk questions by the panel and then they are asked to perform. The panel members each have a massive red buzzer in front of them which is connected to a massive “Not a good fit” sign that activates when the buzzer is pressed. Candidates need 4 clear signs and a “Yes” vote from panelists to get through to the next round.

“Its a brilliant process,” explains Jane Cambreen, one of the audience members. “The Panel has a mix of personalities from the really obnoxious and arrogant patroniser, to the overly excited, clappy one who cries IQ points at the merest hint of emotional intelligence. It’s great, you can see people really opening themselves up and telling all sorts of hard-life back stories in an attempt to win the sympathy vote, but that doesn’t always work with Simon. It really depends on what sort of mood he is in on the day.”

Candidates are free to choose what they want to do. “Some go for a song, some will try a risky acrobatic routine with some sort of archery thing thrown in and then there are those who insist on getting there kit off in a revealing strip routine. It really doesn’t matter what they do so long as they can make it entertaining and different.” continues Jane.

This year the successful candidate was a white, old man joining a team of white, old men and one white woman. “That’s am amazing result proving that the system works as intended.” said one panel member “I just think we would be open to all sorts of abuse and bad feeling if we did it any other way.”