Macron: if you say tit, I’ll say tat

As Trump builds tension in the biggest case of ‘dog in the manger’ the world has ever seen, Macron is putting his arms around all of his toys and shouting “you can’t play with any of zeese and you’re not my best friend and you’re not inviteed to my birsday party. eh?”

Sources close to Trump say he responded by demanding that his favourite mustard maker change its name to “Trump’s”, as remaining “French’s” will be considered an act of treason. As will eating any English mustard.

“It’s all about the mustard.” Bleeted Trump at his latest rally. “For too long we’ve been getting a really, really… badly getting a badly-bad deal… so bad… there saying we’re using everyone else’s mustard and all our mustard jobs are being taken by their mustard jobs. So I am forcing them to change the name and we will import it from Chine-ah, who as you know are now our biggest friends, and who we have to look after as sooo many jobs are being taken.”

Macron’s responded by pointing out that he “can keep hee’s f**keeng mustard. It’s made in the F**keeng United States anyway. What un sac-de-douche. I was seenking dat, anyway, I would sue zem for trademark abuse, eh?”

The battle continues…

 

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