Only a complete nob-end can run an airline declares CEO.

Speaking at a conference where the main themes were “how long can you pretend squashed bread is chicken?” and “Sun bed tanning – a force for good or a dance with the devil?”, the CEO made the controversial claim that you can only run an airline by being the biggest bellend in town.

Though he later back peddled, “some of my best friends are okay people”, it was a case of too little too late. Having already explained that only a nob like him could achieve the necessary level of patronising, sleeze coupled with self aggrandising w**ketry to justify his comments, many were of the view that its exactly like when they claim someone on board has a severe peanut allergy so cannot serve any nuts, i.e. complete horse p**s.

Sarah Hurd said “that explains why there are so few women then – a complete lack of nobs.”

Other airlines are now checking to see if they have enough nob-ends in waiting to ensure they can maintain full airline status going forward.