Category: Business

TSB admits relying on “a wing and a prayer” was probably to blame

As the layers of egg build up on the senior executives faces, TSB have now accepted that hope alone was never going to result in happy customers.

With many of the executives signing off that they were Continue reading “TSB admits relying on “a wing and a prayer” was probably to blame”

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Starbucks boss gives up trying to make a decent cup-a-joe after 36 years

“Pfleugh!” Another person recoils and hangs their tongue out in an attempt to cleanse it. They have just taken a sip from a coffee cup and the jolt of bitter, burning rubber like taste was enough to set a tight jaw and keep one eye half closed for the rest of the day. “It’s like drinking your way through a f**king snowman poo!” Continue reading “Starbucks boss gives up trying to make a decent cup-a-joe after 36 years”

Europe assesses economic policy as everyone’s credits cards are declined

Over half of the population of Europe has come to the crushing realisation that living a “champagne lifestyle on beer money” doesn’t actually work as their cards were all repeatedly declined yesterday. “It was the biggest we’ve seen” said Continue reading “Europe assesses economic policy as everyone’s credits cards are declined”

Bank of England wins diversity award after adopting BGT selection process

“We’ve done it again!” said one of the panelists after the selection was finalised, “it’s an amazing privilege to work for such an openly diverse team, one which is only enhanced by this latest innovation, the BGT showdown.” Continue reading “Bank of England wins diversity award after adopting BGT selection process”

FCA sends men with baseball bats to get banks to coff up

Following 2 years of investigations into how to deal with the underhand tactics deployed by high street banks issuing loans with outrageous interest rates, the regulator has chosen a classic “if you can’t beat them, join them” approach. Continue reading “FCA sends men with baseball bats to get banks to coff up”